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3/11/20

USA - In good hands? Opinion: No need to panic with President Doctor Trump in control - by Robyn Urback


U.S. President Donald Trump – who could have been a doctor, if only there was a scrub cap large enough to accommodate his giant brain – can handle a little virus that has been spreading dangerously undetected throughout the United States for weeks.

The President knows that the most important thing to do first and foremost is to protect the vulnerable – that is, his reputation. While the elderly and immuno-compromised might be mortally at risk due to COVID-19, they have no idea what’s it’s like to have a nice Sunday golf outing ruined Monday by market panic, a massive drop in oil prices and even more reports of novel coronavirus cases and deaths. 

A little sympathy for the President, please.

Now, in order to protect a weakened presidential ego, the focus needs to be on the hard numbers. 

Essentially, the fewer the cases reported on American soil, the better Mr. Trump looks. The best ways to ensure that include maintaining the criteria for testing impractically and illogically narrow – to the extent that some patients and even health-care professionals cannot get tested following an exposure – as well as musing about keeping a quarantined ship at sea indefinitely so that the American tally of infected persons is not affected.

But now that the market is in the toilet, meaning that institutional denial no longer serves much of a purpose, and now that America’s inertia is starting to really get embarrassing, Mr. Trump is finally ready to take on this coronavirus thing. With that, we can rest assured that President Doctor Trump, who understands this virus better than anyone, has everything in the U.S. under control. As is his custom, Mr. Trump will continue to look out for the sick and suffering, just as long as they exist within his own head.

Read more at: Opinion: No need to panic with President Doctor Trump in control - The Globe and Mail

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